Dr.Avendano in the making

It has been 5 years since I finished my masters.  This August I am heading to USF to work on my doctorate in International and Multicultural Education! I am beyond excited. Latinos make .2 percent of scholars in doctoral studies, not to mention Latina/Chicana/Womyn of Color! There are too many barriers for Latina's in getting to doctoral and even finishing their degree. Financial, societal, cultural, and all the isms! To say I am proud to have been accepted is not even the right word.

Inspiration

Took a walk the other day with my husband, gasp! Yes husband! We got married on April 13th! We both enjoy finding inspiration from art and decided to take a walk down Mission district in SF. The murals are amazing. We had fun uncovering the stories behind the art and the culture that is alive in the district! Rafael took this gorgeous shot of me behind the Cesar Chavez school. If you ever have time to visit the Mission district take your camera with you or be smart phone ready to capture the beautiful art and graffiti along the allies!

Summer Chapter

A new chapter in my life has me reflecting on my goals and aspirations. I never stop dreaming and am hungry for growth. 

Change myself Change the world

Gloria Anzaldua stated "Change myself, change the world." Change truly comes from within. I am all moved in and I now call San Leandro my home. I am still looking for a job for the fall. But as for summer I secured two jobs! I am so excited to be working 8-6pm everyday for the next month! I am going to be teaching film and the New Voices curriculum with the Mexican Heritage Plaza in SJ and also will be mentoring upcoming 6 graders in Oakland. At the end of the summer my reward will be an amazingly awesome trip to Mexico with my boyfriend. My graduation present!

Graduation

I graduate tomorrow! 2 years of MAS have been one of the best experiences of my life. I am forever grateful for my friends and classmates and MAS familia for making my journey one that I will never forget.   I still have yet to find a full time job but I am hopeful and patient that I will find something that I deserve. I have not finished my graduate project which sucks because although I am graduating, I will still have the work I need to do on my mind. But I am going to finish it ASAP! I am super excited to share my work and hopefully get it published somewhere, or pieces of it. A ver que pasa!!

Update

I've been working on my grad thesis project and its been difficult doing my literature review. It is definitely time consuming! Working two part time jobs, commuting, and being a full time student is definitely overwhelming at times. But I am hanging in there!! I love what I do. And this passion is what keeps me going. I am thankful to have it. I've been hearing about classmates getting into PhD programs and it is so exciting to me!! It is motivating me to continue going. Why not! I love being in school, I love research, I love knowledge and most importantly I love sharing my knowledge with my community! Dr. Angel. It is possible.

Reflection Paper: My institutional interactions

This is part of my  assignment for my Institutions Class.

As a child I lead a transnational life. I was born in Palo Alto, California but was taken to Michoacán, Mexico when I was six months old. I lived in Mexico until I was four. I do not remember much about that time, but through family pictures and stories I know I was a carefree child. I played in the dirt, showered in the rain, ran around barefoot with the dogs, ate a lot and got so sick that my grandmother had to feed me a raccoon stew! Apparently she tricked me saying it was chicken soup.

            When we moved back to California I attended elementary school. I remember I grasped the English language quickly and became my family’s translator. I also remember watching a lot of TV after school. My favorite sitcoms; which I could not miss, were Full House and Step by Step. This is where I learned what being American meant. I knew I was not American because I was not white, did not associate with the white kids, and I spoke Spanish. However, I wanted to be American because my family always reminded me that I was born in America, and I was a gringa, a pocha. I was confused and thought that in order to be American I had to be or act a certain way.  I wanted to be like Stephanie in Full House.

            In addition, my family also played a huge role in shaping my identity because it is the institution that taught me how to be a mujer. As a young girl, I hated dresses! I loved playing outside, running, basketball, soccer, biking etc. My grandmother had to force me inside the house, to shower, be clean and to do any sort of chore. I remember my father bought me a dress for my younger brother’s birthday party. I cried and refused to wear it! I was comfortable in my jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. But, I got in trouble for refusing to wear it and was forced into it.

            Moreover, through my schooling in California, I began to slowly forget my Spanish. My family made fun of me, and my dad was not ok with me forgetting my Spanish. He was afraid that I was forgetting who I was. Most importantly I was forgetting my Mexican culture. When I finished the fifth grade, I moved back to Mexico with my grandmother and my aunt. I attended la secundaria, and quickly adapted to the Mexican life and culture. Again, the media played a huge role. I loved watching MTV; where not only I got to listen to my favorite Spanish pop artists, but also got to listen to American music. Watching MTV kept me up to date with the popular trends in music and culture back at home, but I also learned what was cool in Mexico. Further more, when I lived in Mexico; gender roles were even more imposed on me. I had to wear a dress and knee high socks to school. My hair had to be brushed, my uniform and shoes had to be clean. The girls were separated from the boys when we got in line before class.  At home, my grandmother expected me to clean, do my own laundry (by hand!), and cook when I was hungry.

            I moved back to California when I was fourteen; and have been living here ever since. However, I travel back to Mexico frequently since I have family and friends from la secundaria who I still keep in touch with. Traveling allows me to engage in both cultures that are a strong part of me. However, when I was in high school I struggled with navigating through my two cultures. I loved listening to Spanish Rock and Pop, watching telenovelas, speaking and reading in Spanish. But many of my friends could not relate. Therefore, in school I had to be more “American”. I spoke English, listened to hip- hop and the popular songs on the radio. I watched The Real World on MTV and the many shows on The WB.

 It was not until I got to college that I began to fully embrace my dual identity. After reading Anzaldua, Lugones, Moraga, and Espiritu in my Ethnic Studies classes I began to understand the concepts of hybridity, transnationalism, border identities etc. I no longer struggle with my multiple identities and cultures. I rather embrace them and even take on different cultures. This is why, I now identify as Xicana. I am Mexican, American, a Mujer, a mestiza, an activist, a feminist.